How do you warn your bookkeeper about too much missed time when she is your wife? How do you tell your shipping clerk one more absent Monday morning and it will be time to look for work elsewhere if he is your son? Bringing family members into your business can create problems. Mixing the challenges of family life with work can cause you unnecessary stress. Dysfunctional families, sour marriages and family members jockeying to grab a bigger piece of the pie, can wreck your enterprise. Putting your family on the payroll may be unwise. It may be usual to hire spouses, siblings and offspring and it may make sense dollar wise. But it can strain the stability of your business with petty jealousies, prima donna attitudes and saddle you with the burden of trying to please everyone while losing your authority and the ability to manage your staff. It is tough enough to get a business established, build a customer following, and turn startup losses into profits without the added demands of playing nursemaid to a business full of brats. If you think I am stretching a point, here is an unsolicited letter from a reader outlining her observations of the oil and water mix of family and business. Ann W. who runs a small business accounting practice wrote: Dear Dr Adams, I thought of something I would love to see you write about (and secretly mail to my clients!) Many of the small businesses I deal with are husband and wives working together. If husbands and wives can be touchy in business together, I have a lawyer who has her whole family working for her. And believe me when I say the whole family. So many distractions, family issues, kids having to come to work because the baby sitter didn't show up, the grandmother coming in to the office with the lawyer's kid because she needs a break. Or, the sister is fighting with the brother, and that comes walking in the front door too. Special dispensation is granted to family employees if one has to leave early (which is frequent) or not show up to work (which is frequent). It creates a bad work environment. Some of these issues happen in front of customers! Why these business owners are oblivious to what we, the outsiders, are witnessing, I don't understand. I look forward to seeing what you have to say about this. Thanks. Ann Dear Ann, You are on the money with your comments. A family business is no place for family squabbles and troubled relationships. I have seen situations where brothers fire brothers. I have seen situations where siblings –full partners- try to avoid each other. I know of a heartbroken dad who was forced to fire his son, destroying what was once a close relationship. Budding entrepreneurs may not be aware that their new business will develop a business personality. Attitudes and moods are contagious in any small circle of people-particular in a small business where all are rubbing shoulders most of their waking hours. Authority, respect and compatibility are crucial to a well run business, You and your partners, and employees make up the collective personality of your business. It can be success minded, it can radiate positive thinking, it can demonstrate reliability, or it can be as unstable as a bad marriage. The relationship of partners, employees to each other is a topic that gets scant attention from the management pros. Pick up most any book on managing your business and family problems are seldom mentioned. A couple of years ago I wrote about the constant friction of two brothers dueling each other to see who gets the last word robbed them of success. Bruised egos, paranoia, and selfishness, with a wisp of dishonesty tossed in screwed up the best of plans. In the end they split –one retired early and the other struggles to keep the business afloat. What could have been a cash cow became a mediocre small business all due to the brother’s squabbling and verbal attacks. I say to any entrepreneur starting out that is planning to bring in the spouse and kids, have an upfront understanding that there is one boss, and the family relationships change at work. Discipline and authority are necessary if the business is going to succeed. And if spouses, cousins, or kids, see the situation otherwise- send the family home and hire strangers. If I were starting out, I would refrain from bringing my family to the office. Running a business means difficult choices, and at times it means “riffing” or letting employees go for a variety of reasons- why complicate the situation even more when you must tell your beloved he or she is no longer needed! Don’t expect flowers or your favorite meal when you get home. Copyright 2003 Dr. Paul E Adams, Professor Emeritus Business Administration Ramapo College of New Jersey Author “ Fail Proof Your Business: Beat the Odds and be Successful.” Available Amazon.Com. If you have questions or comments- contact me: drfailproof@earthlink.net